What is Normal?

What is ‘Normal’ ?
Is it the way in which a person who is more outspoken than another saying how you should live your life?
Telling you how you should react to certain circumstances, situations or aspects of life?
It could even be in the way that you eat your food!
I have seen Indian families eat curry and rice with their bare hands, no cutlery in sight. Chinese families eat with chopsticks. British families eat with cutlery…. But still, it’s just eating food. We all need it to live.
So who or what is ‘Normal’ in those instances then?
We all do what we can to survive, all differently but for one thing.
We may have different opinions on what is best for ourselves and each-other, but again survival is the target.
So are we all to become sheep? Follow the crowd and force yourself to think and act in a way that you don’t really want to, that’s not you, scared that someone may call you crazy or mental because you are not a sheep? I find this strange, very strange. Sad too!
The reason for the first question is that due to my anxiety and panic disorders, I have often asked myself ‘am I normal?’ Or tell people ‘I’d love to be normal and have a normal life’.
But as the years have passed, i really analyse these questions and come up with ‘what is normal?’
It scares me!!!
I was in London just before Christmas with two colleagues for work purposes. I absolutely hate it!!! I now call it ‘The city that never smiles’.
Due to my huge bouts of paranoia and anxiety on the tubes I try to keep my mind as occupied as possible. So, I tried a little experiment;
How many people will smile at me during my hour on the tubes and through the city?
We travelled on the tube for about forty minutes and then walked for twenty. My answer; four!!!!!
How many people I passed that morning was unreal. A huge city, biggest in Great Britain, the capital of England. but four?!
So I asked myself ‘is this normal?’
I understand, places to go, people to see. Busy city folk… But so were we that day!! I smiled, my colleagues smiled and we got to our destinations in time.
I opened numerous doors for people to walk through ahead of me, gave up my seat on the tube but not a single smile or thanks….
Are they scared? Do they have anxiety issues? Depressed? Are they really happy? Because when I frown or don’t talk much, doctors try to medicate me…… That’s a fact!
So we have people who do not talk, do not smile and have no manners and walk mainly with their heads down. Against a guy with mental health issues who is smiling at people , opening doors for people and giving up his seat for people to take five.
If a psychologist was to choose on looks and mannerisms, who would he/she choose to treat?!
Now this is the part non-sufferers dismiss instantly!! on looks. If a person is smiling, all is well. That is so far off the mark but, it’s an easy assumption to make. As a smile is generally positive. So please talk first, you never know who could be wearing a mask 🙂
Then I ask… do I want this? This normal life of living in the city with a great career, earning a great wage but looking like I am going to cry at any given moment doing it, daily too?! No thank you!
Believe it or not, WE ARE ALL NORMAL!!
Things affect us in different ways and we handle them in the way we know best. So what is normal to one person is not to the next and so on and so on, wether it be religion, culture or the way in which you’re raised as a child. It all has an impact on us.
I just didn’t like being a part of that flock that day and my anxiety increased as I thought I was crazy for holding doors and giving up my seat for people.
I got to the meeting and just knew it! I could feel the sensations, my colleagues knew this and had me sit at the back next to the exit with a bottle of water. So… there I was, all suited and booted in the big smoke, started the morning in high spirits but then ended with me sat at the back of a room with my mind going 100mph , twitching away trying to open my tablets from within my inside pocket without being heard or interrupting the meeting.
taking a light sedative at 10:00am!! I couldn’t believe it. Take me back to ‘my normality’ please!

I’m just trying to say that we are all normal, but different 😉

Be positive and be yourself.

Have a good day/evening.

Take care 🙂

2 Comments

  1. I really enjoyed reading this post because I think it hits right at the heart of one of the key causes of anxiety. Not just that but there is a life lesson for everyone. In my personal experience the pursuit of being ‘normal’ has caused me no end of anxiety and anguish. I have and do spend hours panicking about and over analysing what people think of me. I can’t walk down the street without worrying what I look like and convincing myself everyone is looking and laughing at me thinking what a weirdo. It takes me hours to plan what to wear and I’ve changed clothes about 10 times before I actually feel okay to leave the house. I’ve refused to go into places because I’ve panicked about not being dressed appropriately or whether my clothes are fashionable enough. Sometimes I just don’t feel normal enough to be in any social setting. I just don’t feel whatever it is to be ‘normal’. In company or on social occasions this has caused me to just clam up and drift off into what I call a daze totally consumed by what’s going on in my head rather than engaging in what’s actually happening around me and enjoying what I’m doing. I literally have a panic attack about not fitting in with society. I then come across as offish and of course people switch off and think I’m miserable and ignorant which couldn’t be further from the truth. My heart sinks when this happens and the feeling of not being normal just wants me to get the hell out of there.

    This blog post is encouraging us to stick two fingers up to ‘normal’ and just be happy with who we are and what we do. WTF is normal anyway? There IS no normal. I think acceptance of that is one of the first big steps to living a happier life. The world would be so boring if we were all sheep! I’m nowhere near that acceptance yet but after reading this I’m heading in the right direction.

    PS) You will always find me at the back of a room, always sat on the aisle seat with a bottle of water in my hand! The first thing I do when I go anywhere is suss my escape route and know exactly where the toilets are!

    1. Thank you for your post Anon.
      It’s a question that nags at me and still I have no answer!!
      I may have ideas , but they do not fully answer the question.
      We are all normal! You’re eight there, it’s people’s perception of normal that makes you feel uncomfortable .
      So do not become a sheep, be yourself I say. If your normal is not everybody else’s, give them the fingers and keep smiling 🙂
      Thanks for the post, it’s much appreciated 🙂

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